Trench Connection, 5.5

Dan went back to the first crack and studied it.  The guidebook calls it Trench Connection and gives it a two out of three stars rating.  High praise.  Not many climbs in the book earn two stars.  

Dan wanted to lead it right away.  He tied in and clipped all the gear he’d need to his harness. 

To jump on and lead a climb first thing was new this year.  Last year we always set up a top rope and tried out a climb first.  

Dan made his way up slowly.  He placed gear well, choosing the right piece on the first try.  He stopped often to carefully plan the climbing moves and where to place gear above.  Eventually, he made the top and built a top rope anchor.

Top Rope Practice Run

I climbed on top rope.  The moves felt hard in places.  For me, the crux was at the bottom where the holds outside the crack on the face were thin.  I kept imagining my foot would slip off and I’d fall but I didn’t.

I found the top half easier and climbed it fairly smoothly.  When I got to the ground, Dan asked if I’d like to climb it again on top rope.  That seemed like a good idea.  I wanted a do-over.

The second time, I focused on allowing the movements, not forcing them.  I wanted to relax and allow my body and mind to move without overthinking.

What a great experience!  I felt like I was flowing up the climb.  My feet and hands found the holds they needed.  In balance, I moved steadily, no takes and I started to feel hopeful that perhaps I could lead it.  

I made a plan to climb it on top rope a third time and to plan where I would stop to place gear.  I wanted to be sure to be in a balanced, restful stance when I placed gear so it was relaxed and not rushed.

But first, Dan went back on it.  He wanted to climb it again, first on top rope to nail down the climbing moves.  When he came down, he pulled the rope and led again.  The second lead was smoother and more confident.  He looked really strong.

My Lead

Then it was my turn and my nerves started vibrating a bit.  I went up on top rope and I found that as I thought about leading and placing gear, I got more and more nervous.  The climbing got very difficult.  

Where I floated up easily on the second climb, I now struggled and stabbed my feet nervously towards holds.  What was going on?  I didn’t want to regress to where I was last year, always so nervous on top rope, the thought of leading was terrifying.

Partway up the climb, I stopped thinking about leading it.  I just got to the top as best I could.  I wasn’t sure if I’d lead or not.  It suddenly seemed too hard. 

I lowered down to the ground. If I decided not to lead, we could scramble up the side of the rock formation and clean our anchor gear from the top. I wouldn’t be leaving any gear behind by not leading. There was no pressure. I could walk away.

But I couldn’t allow myself to walk away. I had to try.

I pulled the rope.

As I tied into the end of the rope, I felt angry.  It seemed so hard, why was I doing this?  

I didn’t want to repeat my 2023 performance.  Or lack of performance.  I wanted desperately to lead but this climb was scary.  I felt angry.

Dan could sense my distress and told me I didn’t have to lead today, we could come back.  I lashed out a bit, telling him I did have to.  There was no choice.  I didn’t want to be talked out of it.  

I started to think maybe I could go up just a little bit and place a couple of pieces, then ask for take and be lowered.  Call it quits. Anytime.  It didn’t matter.  That relaxed me a bit.

As I moved up to where I planned to place the first piece, I muttered angrily about how stupid this was and how nobody should have to do this.  Who does this?  It was a little serious, but mostly in jest to lighten my mood.   

Dan and I recently watched a climbing film where one of the climbers described a difficult situation out on an adventure where the climbers were struggling and suffering.  One of them said,

“It ain’t gotta be fun to be fun.” 

We laughed so hard because it is very true.  We’ve had times where we’ve been suffering and it feels pretty far from being fun.  Afterwards when we’re home and remembering the adventure, we feel like it was a lot of fun and we’re eager to do it again.

I struggled through the bottom difficult part, asking for take often and knowing that my gear would hold me.  Above that section, there is a rest spot where you can stand in balance and you don’t even need to hold on – a “no-hands rest”.  I paused there for some deep breaths and a long break.  Looking down, I realized I had placed a lot of gear.  I mean a lot!

I looked at my harness to see what was left.  Fortunately, I had brought a lot up with me!  Dan reminded me to reorganize, moving some gear from the right side to the left where there was hardly any.  This rebalancing would ensure that gear was available to both my left and my right hand as I moved up.

Above the rest spot, I relaxed a bit, the moves were familiar and easier.  I allowed the movement as best I could. Planning in advance where to place the gear, I got some decent placements. 

I was at the top before I realized I had completed the climb.  I focused on moving safely right up to the anchor.  When I clipped it, I think I slumped forward, finally able to relax.

Dan cheered as he lowered me.  I cleaned the gear I’d placed and couldn’t quite believe what I’d accomplished.  

It felt like a real lead at last.  Hopefully the first of many.  

Next Steps

We plan to return to the Crow’s Nest on our next climbing day and continue working our way across the climbs. 

The first two days were so good.  We both pushed hard and were pleased with our accomplishments.  We picked up where we left off last year and continued our progress.